The day job

While I would love to be one of those precious few authors who are constantly contracted for their next book, I am not…yet, anyway. To make ends meet, I have a day job. I wish I could say that I have a mindless day job where I can while away the hours thinking of characters and plots, but I can’t say that either. I work with special needs students in an elementary school. My job requires me to be “on” the entire day.

Today was not a good day. In fact, the beginning of this school year has been particularly difficult for no good reason. The kids are wonderful…It’s certain adults that have issues. Being micro-managed throughout the day just doesn’t work with special needs students. As an educator, flexibility is a must. Yet, for some reason there are those who have never done my job, and yet feel qualified to tell me how I should do it. I have many years of experience, but that doesn’t seem to matter. I’m told that I must ruin the day (s) of my students simply because the powers that be have decided that they’d like to “try something different.” Yet, no matter how much I try to remind them of the last failed attempts of doing the same things, it doesn’t matter. Evidently, you have to have a certain number of zeroes on your paycheck in order to be listened to.

Let me tell ya…being pushed around and micro managed gets old REAL quick.

I’m struggling with the idea of leaving. I’ve been there for years. I love…no, I ADORE the students I work with. But it will be so hard to stand by and watch them turn into another statistic, to watch them fall through the cracks of our school system, simply because someone wanted to “try something” for the sake of saving money so the superintendent can take another pay raise this year. I can’t stand by and watch these kids get left behind anymore than I want to be a part of the system that allows it to happen.

I hate being this torn. And to tell the truth, I really don’t need to add any more stress to my already overloaded life.

A Good Girlscout

I don’t know if it’s the Girl Scout in me or if I’m just “this way,” but I find that I respect people more if they are prepared. And I don’t mean prepared for any situation, like a natural disaster. After all, there isn’t a purse on the market that could hold “everything” needed to survive (although the idea is intriguing…will research this further). What I mean is that if you are in charge of anything, from your cash register to your office space, I think it’s important to be prepared.

I go to work prepared. And I expect the people who are higher up on the ladder to come to work prepared as well, but…well… That isn’t happening.

I let the first year go by, making all sorts of excuses, and I imagined that this year would be different. After all, how could it get worse?

Only the stupid person will ever ask such a question.

It got worse. I used to worry about not knowing what would happen from week to week. This year, I’m lucky if I know what will happen from hour to hour. It’s complete chaos. Of course, the Girl Scout in me will make it work. I always do. I have to. I’m just built that way. Girl scouts do not live or function in chaos. We thrive in order.

Example: One of my first jobs was as a stock person for Kmart. I loved it. The back room was a disaster area just waiting for someone like me. Bikes were assembled near the batteries and hula hoops. Ice cream makers were crowding the shelves with blankets. It was clear that the storeroom needed me.

So, I organized all the Halloween candy and put it in one aisle, alphabetically by brand, of course. I worked my way from back to front, labeling all the aisles according to department, and placing the goods in order. By the time the Christmas season arrived, I’d made it all the way to the first aisle and was working on organizing the batteries and film. My supervisor even gave me a label maker for the task and secretly put me in for a promotion to the office.

Of course, I got the office job, but wasn’t as happy as I was in the storeroom (only I didn’t know it at the time).

Since it’s too late to make a long story short, I’ll just tell you that I’m still prepared. Every day I go to work (different job-I haven’t worked at Kmart for many, many years) knowing what to expect. I research ways to do my job more efficiently and effectively. I believe that whatever I do is important. I care. And I come to work prepared, ensuring that the people I work with know that I care and that I don’t simply leave things to chance.

And it’s really DIFFICULT to work with people who simply shrug their shoulders and say “I guess it will all work out somehow.”

Here’s a clue—all your shoulder shruggers out there—”it” only works out because of people like me.

Mais Oui!

I need a quick French refresher for a possible trip to Ontario with my son in the Spring.

My nasals were never very good to begin with, but I’m hoping they’ve ripened with age like a fine French wine. Un bon vin blanc

Unfortunately, I’ve heard little of the Rosetta Stone software, and I’m not sure if I want to spend that much if it doesn’t help.

Tomorrow, I’ll try my local library and keep you posted.

Page 17

That’s when it happened! On page 17 of What Happens in London, I stopped being a mere reader and fell into the book. Now, I’m personally connected with the hero and I must read to the end to see that his life turns out to be everything it should be. Harry deserves a happily ever after.

I understand how it’s done, and of course I try to do the same thing with my writing, but the only problem is that after spending so much time with my books I’m never certain if I get the reader personally involved. After all, I’m already personally involved with my characters before I write the first word. So, during my editing process I already love them, know them, and want the best possible ending for their story. Or maybe, I don’t want their story to end with the last page, but to live on. Yes, that’s is more precisely what I want.

But do I have that?

I hope so, because I plan to write romance for decades to come.

Great book!

I just finished The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane. What a great read. I fell into step with the characters, enjoying being around them the more I got to know them. The way Howe wrote the conflict between mother and daughter was truly inspired! And the way she wrote her protagonist’s small, personal insights made me want to sit down and edit.

I think I spend too much time reading the same genre over and over. After reading this and being thoroughly entertained, I’ve decided to branch out beyond my comfort zone more than I do. Of course, I have many projects on my plate at the moment (not including the unending parade of home improvement…the kitchen is next). So, it will be difficult to grab a heavy read and have any time to devote to it. In addition, I have about 10 library books that have to be read before the due date and an entire bookshelf of TBR’s. I wish I could put life on hold and lock myself away for a week or more, simply reading, but I can’t.

In the meantime, I’ll be running around in circles, trying to grab hold of my tail for the next two weeks. And then the real challenge begins.

The Ugly Truth

To tell the whole truth about The Ugly Truth, that movie only made me want more of Gerard Butler. He has a dynamic presence that leaps off the screen and I have no idea why he isn’t in more movies. I’ve been a fan since I first saw him in Phantom of the Opera. After that, I went to my local video store to grab anything of his I could get my hands on…ahem.

What I like most about him is that he is so very male. He’s a little rough and raw. He has a naughty, rakish grin and a deep, gravelly, lyric voice. I love watching his lips move when he talks. I could listen to him for eons. Simply put, he oozes sex appeal.

Oh, and there is something about the way he looks when he’s dancing. I don’t think I drew a single breath from the very first moment that he took Katherine Heigl onto the dance floor. I can’t put my finger on one thing that makes that scene stand out in my mind. All I can remember are glimpses of his big hands, the way his lithe body moved, the corded muscles of his forearms, and the sinews of his neck. Those images will put me in a haze for weeks.

He is the perfect romantic lead (and the inspiration behind quite a few of my characters). I only hope I can use the inspiration to write instead of searching for video clips and images online.