Writing is a hard life

It’s true. I’ve been writing since I was eleven-years-old and a teacher advised me to put my thoughts onto paper. I wrote poetry for years. In high school I started writing romantic stories for friends and simply fell in love with the idea of writing happily ever after.

Of course, college instructors pooh-pooh popular fiction in any genre (but especially romance). So, in an effort for self preservation, I hid my love of romance. In college I dabbled in playwriting as well as poetry, and met with some publishing success with both. In writing courses I strived to create disgustingly real characters (based on people I knew) and set them in a world where there was no HEA. While depressing to write, they achieved the desired grade.

In my spare moments (of which there were–and still are–precious few) I began writing a novel. This was my very first start to finish novel, over 110k. I still love these first characters. They were hybrids, crossed over from college years, real and flawed and lovely because of that. They were meant to be together. And while I never had the courage to submit that first novel, I went on to write more.

Years (perhaps eons) ago, I picked up a magazine, Arabella, at Barnes and Noble. I enjoyed the concept of a magazine dedicated to short romantic fiction and so I searched their online site. At the time, they were looking for paranormal romance, under 1500 words. I thought, “I can write that much of a vampire romance.” But when I started writing, I ended up with 3000 words before I even got to the core of the story. I ditched the first idea and went for a severely truncated version, using the same character names but leaving the setting and premise behind.

Long story short, Arabella wanted my story. I signed a contract and was the happiest writer in the entire world…until Arabella went under.

I was devastated. I joined a support chat group and soon thereafter found a fledgling publisher that published short stories online. I changed my story to suit their longer word count, submitted and was accepted. After Between Shadows and Lightning, Wild Rose Press published another short story, a novella and my first published novel.

But there were years and years of strife before I was published. I’d wanted to be taken seriously as a writer (both from my family and from the industry), but found myself spinning my wheels in contests that eventually helped to thicken my skin but didn’t really get me anywhere.

My husband still doesn’t understand my passion for writing. I steel all my moments for writing. It’s difficult to juggle the needs of my day job, my school age kids, my house, my husband, and my writing career.

And yes, sometimes my confidence falters. Sometimes I go days without writing fiction (I fill the writing need with blogging and writing social stories for the children I work with). But my determination for becoming a full time author of romance (and children’s books) is as strong as ever. I know I have the ability and the drive. All I need is the break.

Not getting the break is the hardest part. I often wonder if I’m trying too hard or not hard enough. Is it about being great or is it about being in the right place at the right time? I’ve been holding out for something wonderful, because I think my stories deserve it. But (I’ll say it again) not getting the break is the hardest part.